


A Gremlins Guide To Getting Adopted By 3 Gods

by Some_werid_person



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Child TommyInnit, Dad Philza, Dadza, God Philza, God technoblade, Gods, I REGRET THIS SO MUCH, I am so sorry for writing this, Other, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, ]it is not cannon at all, as the author i will laughing away the pain with humor, ava if you see this no you didn't, but found family, dream smp au, god Wilbur, god dream, god george, god sapnap, i wont go on but everyone but tommy is a god, it started as a joke but im here now, not exactly, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29301048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_werid_person/pseuds/Some_werid_person
Summary: As punishment for their crimes against humanity three gods are sent down to earth to watch over the "most difficult and annoying child ever."(or Phil, Techno, and Wilbur are now tasked with looking over a human boy named TommyInnit
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt, Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity & Sapnap, Clay | Dream & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Darryl Noveschosch, GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed & Karl Jacobs
Comments: 210
Kudos: 976





	1. Character Sheet

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone who read my original version of this, Welcome back !! And to those who didn't, Hello found family trope lovers. 
> 
> Also Tips, criticism and feedback are very welcomed!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter just a character sheet for all the characters i made for myself and decided to post.
> 
> Anyway welcome to the story I hope you enjoy
> 
> Also hello found family trope fans ;)

**Characters**

Wilbur- God of Music and Insanity/madness 

Techno- God of War and The Nether 

Philza- God of Life and Death 

Dream- God of Luck and Skill 

George- God of Slumber and The End 

Sapnap- God of Fire and The Sun 

Karl- God of Time and Memories 

Eret- God of Trust and Betrayal

Fundy- God of Animals and The Moon 

Schlatt- God of Alcohol and Greed 

Quackity- God of Drugs and Illusions 

Tubbo- God of Nature and Bugs

Badboyhalo- God of Peace and Wisdom

Skeppy- God of Tricks and Riches 

Tommy- human (what a loser)

____________________

**Philza Minecraft**

Appearance- Looks about 32. Has blonde chin length hair, ocean blues eyes, pointed eyes and tanned skin. Wears a long green robe that is tied around the waist with a black and white ribbon. Also wears a striped green and white bucket hat and sandals. He has jet black wings on his back that he can use to fly with. Is about 5’11

Powers- The only god that can’t “die” and doesn’t go into limbo. Overall very powerful. Is able to create and destroy life “which includes the gods”

Domain- Life and Death

**Technoblade**

Appearance- Looks about 20. Has long pink hair that is tied back into a braid, blood red eyes, with slightly tanned skin along with slight tusks. Wears a white collared shirt with the floof along the neckline (idk what it is called) with a dark red ribbon around his waist. Often seen with a netherite sword. Also wears black pants with brown boots and has a crown atop his head. Is about 6’3

Powers- Super strength. The more blood spilled during war the more power he becomes. More durability and agility then the average person (or god). All nether mobs respect him.

Domain- The Nether and War 

**Wilbur Soot**

Appearance- Looks about 20. Has short curly chocolate hair, insane blood red eyes, lanky with pale skin. Wears a gray beanie along with a yellow sweater under a trench coat with black pants and boots. Often seen with a guitar. Is about 6’5. 

Powers- Can control people's minds and make them slowly go insane or see things that aren’t there by singing or playing his guitar. When playing his guitar he can send force out of it. 

Domain- Music and Madness

**Dream**

Appearance- Looks around 20. Has short fluffy blonde hair, emerald green eyes, with tanned skin. Wears a white button down with a green tie and tux vest. Also wears black pants, black gloves and dress shoes, and has a white cloth wrapped around his eyes. Often seen with dice and cards around him. Is about 6’1.

Powers- Unnaturally very lucky. Can draw cards from his deck to decide if people will be unlucky or lucky in the future. Very good at everything without trying. Can make people experience huge amounts of luckiness or unluckiness. 

Domain- Luck and Skill

**George**

  
  


Appearance- Looks around 22 (cough 12 cough). Has short brown hair, one blue eye and one green eye, with pale skin. Wears a blue shirt with a red and white square in the middle. Along with a cloak that fades from dark to light blue with stars, black fingerless gloves and clout glasses, and blue pants with black boots. Is about 5’9.

Powers- Can put anyone to sleep by taking off his glasses and looking them in the eyes. All end mobs respect him and are not hostile towards him. 

Domain- Sleep and The End

**Sapnap**

  
  


Appearance- Looks about 20. Has unruly jet black hair, orange piercing eyes, and tanned skin. Wears a white t-shirt with a flame in the middle over a black long sleeved shirt. Along with a white headband, black pants with red trimming and checkered shoes. Is about 5’10.

Powers- Can summon and manipulate fire, fire doesn't burn him. Helps the sun rise and fall.

Domain- Fire and the Sun

**Karl**

Appearance- Looks about 22. Has short fluffy light brown hair, one green and one purple eye, with tan skin. Wears a long robe with the hood being magenta, the left sleeve being cyan, the right sleeve being light purple, and the front being purple. Under the robe is a white shirt. He also wears goggles on his head and wears a green spiral necklace and black boots. Is about 5’11.

Powers- Can stop, start, and travel through time. When looking at someone in the eyes he can look through their important memories. 

Domain- Time and Memories

**Quackity**

Appearance- Looks about 19. Has slick short black hair, midnight black eyes, with tanned skin. Wears a long blue jacket with a collar that covers his neck and the jacket goes down to his knees. (he often hides drugs in there.) Along with a blue and gray beanie with black sweatpants and sneakers. Always seen with drugs :]. Is about 5’8

Powers- Can summon drugs whenever he likes and has a very high tolerance. Can change the form whenever he likes and often pretends to be other gods and can make things appear that aren’t there.

Domain- Drugs and Illusions

**Eret**

Appearance- Looks about 22. Has short fluffy light brown hair, white crystal eyes, with pale skin. Wears a long red jacket with golden trimming along the sides, over a white button shirt. Along with gray pants, platforms, sunglasses and a crown.

Powers- Taking off their glasses they can tell whether or not someone is trustworthy and can see if someone will betray them in the future. If someone tries betraying or lying to them Eret knows.

Domain- Trust and Betrayal. 

**Fundy**

  
  


Appearance- Looks about 21. Has unruly red hair with some white pieces, fox ears and tail, chocolate brown eyes with tanned skin. Wears a black jacket with different colors of the rainbow on the color with some gold trim. Along with dark gray pants and black boots.

Powers- Can talk to animals and can shapeshift into different types of animals. Helps the moon rise and fall.

Domain- Animals and the Moon. 

**Schlatt**

  
  


Appearance- Looks about 21. Has slick backed brown hair with mutton chops, ram horns, wine red eyes with tan skin. Wears a wrinkled white button up shirt. Along with a red messed up tie and black dress pants with dress shoes. 

Powers- Can summon any type of alcohol and has a high tolerance to it. He is very obsessed with gold, riches and victory and always craves more. Can duplicate any item to create more. 

Domain- Alcohol and Greed

**Tubbo**

Appearance - Looks about 13. Has Poofy short brown hair, grass green eyes, antennas, with tanned skin. Wears a green button up shirt, jeans and sneakers. Also has vines creeping up his skin with little flowers on it. Is about 5’5.

Powers- Can manipulate and grow nature at his will. Can talk and communicate with bugs, (bees are his favorite thought) Bugs tend to be attracted and sometimes cluster around him. 

Domain- Nature and Bugs

**Bad**

Appearance- Looks about 23. Has fluffy black short hair, pure white eyes, red horns, and pitch black skin. Wears a black robe with red trimming along the edges. Along with red boots and black pants. He also has a white halo around his head. Is about 5’9.

Powers- Is all knowing and usually is able to know stuff before others do. Is able to call others down and make them feel peaceful at his will. 

Domain- Peace and Wisdom

**Skeppy**

Appearance- Looks about 23. Has poofy short dark brown hair, diamond blue eyes with dark tanned skin. Wears a long crystal robe, black pants, and brown boots. Along with that his skin has tiny diamonds in his skin in random spots. Is about 5’7

Powers- Can summon riches and crystals whenever he wants. The more tricks and mischief he causes the more powerful he becomes. 

Domain- Trickery and Riches

**Tommy**

Appearance-Is 12. Has short fluffy golden hair, ocean blue eyes, with tan skin. Wears a white t-shirt with red sleeves over a plain long sleeve white shirt. Along with cargo pants and black sneakers. Is about 5’5.

Powers- being so annoying a god uses you as punishment 

Domain- annoyingness

________________________

**World Rules**

The world is basically Minecraft without respawning.

  
Gods are immortals who look over/control parts of humanity. Each god has control and maintains a different part of humanity, and that is their domain. Philza Minecraft was the first god to exist (he was created by the universe). All gods have different “subscribers” or people who pateron and pray to them. The more subscribers you have the more powerful you are. 

  
(Techno is the only other god to become a god and not die, earning him the saying “Technoblade never dies”) 

  
While gods are all powerful and cannot die, they do have a weakness. All gods have a symbol/something they are tied too. All gods can summon their symbol whenever they want, and can use their symbol to channel their powers. If a God is injured bad enough they will "die" or go into a type of limbo until they recharge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things in here might change in the future idk probably not though


	2. Prolouge

**Prologue**

Once before the moon and the sun. Before the Nether and the End the was one lone God who went by the name of Philza. He created the Overworld and soon after life began popping up on the small plan. Philza cared for humanity greatly and watched it grow and expanded. Though humanity soon became too much for him to care for alone, and thus he began choosing mortals to become gods after death. To help him look after humanity.

Gods had humans called subscribers that would worship and pray to them. Alot of humanity began becoming very angry with three certain gods. As punishment for their crimes against humanity three gods are sent down to earth to look after a human boy. One of a god named Dream’s picking, and in his words 

“The most chaotic and annoying human ever.” 

And this human's name was TommyInnit.


	3. Chapter 1 Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thank you all so much for the support and nice comments, I love reading them!!! <3

Once Tommy made his way to the village he sat on the side of the road and got his tin out for people to drop money in. It was about 11:00 when decided that he would have to start borrowing from some people as all he had was a couple quarters, people never had as much money to spare in the winter. While walking around he eventually found a kind looking lady and decided to do his best “help i'm a helpless child” impression.

“Excuse me Miss, can you help me find my parents? I lost them.” Tommy mumbled making his voice higher, in order to seem more helpless. Of course seeing this poor little boy she put her bag down and turned to face Tommy, letting him get a good look at her face. She looked about 34 with plump roasie checks with straight brown hair. 

“Oh you poor little thing. Where did you last see your parents honey?” She cooed. Before she could do anything else though he snatched her bag and bloated. He knew it was reckless but winter was settling in and things were getting desperate. While running towards the woods he heard a cry of “Thief!” followed by a pair of footsteps.

“Shit!” He cursed, while running through the woods in order to make it back to his home or what he called Logstedshire.

_______________________________

Currently all the gods were sat at a large table in Dreams domain. He insisted he had something important to share. 

“Do you know why you are all here?” He asked with a stone cold face. 

“Uhh no not really.” Wilbur replied. 

“Nope.” Stated Sapnap. 

“Something got up your ass.” Schlatt smirked.

“You lost a manhunt, well if you did bo ho cracker.” Technoblade deadpanned. 

“No.” Dream huffed getting annoyed with everyones bs. “The reason you all are seated here today is the humans have been getting annoyed with some of you for breaking the rules and demanding you be punished. Especially with that war going on.” He muttered 

“Wait there are rules!” Quackity, Schlatt and Wilbur shouted at the same time. 

“Uhhhhh.” Skeppy mumbled nervously. All four gods had reputations for being quote on quote “Pains in the asses of humans and gods alike.”

"Well i haven't broken any, at least I think?" George responded nervously. 

"I had no idea there were rules." Eret admitted.

“Yeah and why should I care?” Techno asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well the human demand that you should be punished and three of you broke the rules. So as the god with the most subscribers I will be the one to punish them. Dream responded. Everyone was eyeing each other nervously. Before Dream finally stood up. “Philza Minecraft God of Life and Death, Technoblade God of War and The Nether, and Wilbur Soot God of Insanity, Madness and Music! You three will be sent down to earth for your crimes against humanity!” Dream boomed getting everyone's attention.”

“You can’t do that!” Techno shouted, showing a rare sign of emotion. 

“Yeah!” Wilbur agreed, jumping out of his seat.

“It can’t be that bad.” Phil tried to reason while eyeing the three gods nervously. 

“Oh but it will be.” Dream laughed. “This isn’t gonna be some 100 year vacation, no you three will be tasked with looking over a _human_ child. One so annoying it will drive you crazy.” Dream paused for a moment before looking up to face the gods. “Oh and you can’t kill him, also his name is Tommy.” Then with the snap of Dreams fingers the three gods were suddenly on earth in the woods somewhere.

“GODS DAMIT!” Wilbur yelled, while taking in his surroundings. “I can’t believe we are stuck on this fuckin hellhole!” Phil quickly began gathering some supplies while Techno began looking around. 

"I mean it shouldn't be that hard, look after a human child living in the forest I mean it should be fine." Phil muttered looking around for any signs of the kid. 

“Easy for you to say Mr tree fucker.” Wilbur barked.

“Wilbur for the last goddsamn time, me being the god of life doesn’t mean I fuck every living thing!” “Besides it's just a human kid it shouldn’t be that hard.” Phil insisted. 

“Hey while you too were busy bickering and not being helpful I found an abandoned shack.” Techno interrupted while pointing behind him. 

“How did you manage to find that?” Phil asked.

“I used my brain.” Techno replied before leading them to the shack. The shack looked handmade and quickly thrown together. Phil noticed a sign in the front and decided to take a look at it. Carved into the wood were the words, “PROPERTY OF TOMMYINNIT FUCK OFF!” Written in chicken scratch. 

“Hey i think this might be the kids house.” Phil spoke up after looking around.” 

“Well nobody's home.” Wilbur said while walking out of the house with Techno. Suddenly something flashed across Technos face before he fell on his knees dramatically causing Wilbur to flinch.

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN!” Wilbur shouted in fear. 

“Phil, Phil what if he is an orphan!” Techno yelled, a look of pure fear in his eyes. 

“Techno what the fuck is it with you and orphans!” Phil questioned. Suddenly the three gods felt a presence behind them and a high pitched voice piped up. 

“WHO THE FUCK ARE ALL OF YOU!!”


	4. Chapter 2 The Gremlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys all so much for the kudos, nice comments and feedback. They really do mean alot to me <33

“WHO THE FUCK ARE ALL OF YOU!!” Shrieked a high pitched voice, causing the three gods to whip around and look at the newcomer. 

“Uhhh salesmen.”

“Druggies.”

“A better question would be who are you and where are your parents?” Phil finally asked. Seemingly being the only one who had a brain. He didn’t think it would be a good idea to give away their god statuses just yet, as the reason they were down here in the first place was because of the humans. 

“Well I’m gonna ignore those first two answers.” Tommy replied. “Anyway, I’m big man TommyInnit. And who are you and what are you doing at _my_ house!? Wilbur, Techno and Phil gave each other a knowing glance. 

“Ok but where are your parents?” Phil asked cautiously. He was sure now that this was the kid they had to look over, as he had the same name as the kid Dream described. The only problem he had now is to make sure Techno doesn’t maul him if he is an orphan. 

“I’m a big man so I don’t need any parents!” Tommy stated proudly. Wilbur shuffled a little. 

“So you're an orphan.” Wilbur groaned. He was not in the mood to deal with Techno. 

Tommy sighed. “I mean I guess.” He confirmed, while kicking the dirt with his foot. 

“NOOO HE’S AN ORPHAN!!” Shouted Techno, pulling his hair. “Phil, Phil can I pleaseeeeee kill him, or at least drop kick him!” 

“Oh my gods Techno what is your problem!!!” Phil barked at Techno, while Tommy looked on at the scene in front of him confused and Wilbur looked on like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“He’s a bloody orphan that's what my problem is.” Techno retorted while pulling out his sword to face Tommy only to be stopped by Phil as they continued arguing. Tommy getting sick of the weird druggies in front of him turned to Wilbur. 

“So I’m gonna ignore the old man and pink haired guy, but why exactly are you guys here?” Tommy questioned. Techno and Phil suddenly stopped arguing and Phil turned to Tommy trying to answer his question. 

“Uhh well you see-.” Phil sputtered only to be interrupted by Wilbur who turned to Tommy.

“Well you see basically we are gods and our job right now is to babysit you, because we got in trouble with Dream, also he is an arsehole. (whoo) He answered with a smile on his face that said. “Get me the fuck out of here.” Tommy just stood there in silence trying to take in the information while the three gods continued to argue. 

“You moron! I can’t believe you just told him that.” Yelled Techno. 

“Well you guys just kept arguing and besides he was gonna find out at some point!” Debated Wilbur. This went on back and forth for a little bit before Tommy finally said something bringing all eyes on him. 

“Wait no, you guys are lying. You mean gods as in those weird people everyone talks about, and they pray to them and shit.” Doubted Tommy. Techno turned to Tommy sword out and a wild look in his eyes. 

“LOOK MORTAL ORPHAN, I AM FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU. DON’T DOUBT ME!!” He boomed. 

“Quit being so dramatic Techno, he wasn’t doubting you.” Wilbur interjected. Techno was so dramatic (and he denied it) he could be the god of drama.

“At least I don’t look like a royal pig.” Muttered Tommy, just loud enough for Techno to hear. 

“I am not a royal pig, I am the Technoblade, the god of War and the Nether child!! Techno hissed, clearly embarrassed about being made fun of by not only mortal, but an orphan as well. 

“Oh gods he is right, you do look like a royal pig!” Hollered Wilbur, gasping in for air as he was doubled over from laughter. The bickering though was finally put to a stop by Phil. 

“Why don’t we go inside for some introductions, I mean we are stuck together.” He suggested. 

“Well, I’m not letting a couple strangers into my house unless I know your names first.” Tommy protested stepping in front of Phil. 

“Well I’m Phil, you obviously already know Techno, and the tall one is Wilbur.” Phil said gesturing to the two gods behind him, still bickering with each other. With that the human and three gods made their way inside. 

___________________________________

“You live here!!” Phil shouted alarmed while looking around at the complete mess of the “house” if you could even call it that. There was garbage littering the floor, with pieces of the wall falling off and cracked windows.

“Yeah and what about it.” Tommy replied defensively, not liking a bunch of strangers coming into his house then insulting it. 

“Only a gremlin would like a place like this.” Techno commented. After the trio explored the house more, (much to Tommy’s distaste) Phil finally came up to Tommy.

“So uhh, where is the bedroom bud?” He questioned. So far there were only three rooms, only which one looked semi-habitable.

“Oh I don’t have any, I just sleep on some blankets I got in the lost and found.” Tommy replied, like this was normal. All three gods shared a look.

“Tommy how long have you been by yourself?” Techno surprisingly asked. He may be the god of war, but he wasn’t heartless. Tommy looked down at his fingers and mouthed out a couple numbers before responding. 

“About 4-5 years give or take.” He responded before looking up again at the looks he was getting from all three gods. “Look I don’t need your fuckin pity I’ve been fine on my own.” 

“Look kid, we aren’t giving you pity, you could legit freeze to death this winter.” Wilbur added.

Tommy knew he had to face the truth at some point. He was not doing good at all, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he would make it. If the cold didn’t get him this winter, the mobs surely would.

"Look mate will you let us help you, at least for a little bit I mean we are already stuck with you.” Phil asked gently, reaching his hand out to Tommy.”

“Fine.” Was all Tommy said before taking Phils hand. Even though he didn’t show it, he was happy to have some more people around. God when was the last time he touched someone. 

"I'll take Tommy to the village to get some supplies while you two stay here and clean up this house, and no fighting." Phil demanded turning to look straight at Techno and WIlbur before walking out the door with Tommy. Once the two were out of sight Wilbur looked at Techno with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“You wanna destroy this place?” 

“Hell yeah.” 


	5. Chapter 3 Day Out In The Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys all so much for the kudos and nice comments, I love reading them and they really make my day!! <3

"I'll take Tommy to the village to get some supplies while you two stay here and clean up this house, and no fighting." Phil demanded turning to look straight at Techno and Wilbur before walking out the door with Tommy. The two walked together in relative silence (I’ll be it Phil lagging behind slightly as he didn’t know where he was going. 

Tommy’s shack sat in a little clearing surrounded by a dense forest that seemed to go on for ages. There seemed to be no one around for miles, Tommy being the only one leaving in the forest, almost like he was hiding from someone. The trees started getting thinner as Tommy and Phil approached the edge of the forest. Once they reached the edge Tommy turned to Phil with a sour expression on his face. 

“I don’t think it’s such a good idea to go into the village.” Tommy remarked, Phil raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Why not?” Phil asked. He tried looking Tommy in the eyes, but Tommy was avoiding eye contacted at all times. Keeping his eyes trained on the floor. 

“Well you see, It looks like it’s going to rain.” Tommy explained hastily. 

“Come on kid we will be fine, besides there isn't a cloud in the sky.” Phil reassured though he doubted Tommy was feeling any better. And with that the god and the gremlin made their way into the village. 

While in town Tommy tried to keep his head down and hide behind Phil as much as possible, while Phil wandered around cluelessly trying to figure out where different shops were and how to buy stuff. After a bit of aimlessly wandering they eventually found a clothing store and decided it would be good to start there. When they walked through the door a bell rang signaling someone behind the counter someone had entered. 

“Oh hello there! My name is Niki. What can I do for you.” A young woman behind the counter asked. She had bright pink hair and was wearing a tan over a white button up shirt. 

“Hello, I’ll just need some children's clothes.” Phil requested. “Oh and also some fabrics to make some bedding.”

While Niki and Phil were busy discussing what size to get him. (as he had never bought his own clothes before.) Tommy decided to wander around and look at the shop a little bit. There were big sheets of fabrics lining the walls and lots of different clothes on display around the store. A couple statues on a shelf caught Tommy’s eye. One statue was of a person covered in a robe with big wings and a bucket hat on and an even face. Another was of a man with a guitar on his back in a trench and beanie holding tnt with a manic look on his face. The final statue was of a young boy with antenna brown hair and vines wrapped around him. Phil and Niki were apparently done discussing what size to get him as Niki was suddenly behind him. 

“Oh you like my statue’s?” She asked. 

“Oh yeah their pog, what are they though?” Tommy questioned, the statues all looked very similar almost like he had seen them before. 

“Oh well those are the gods of the SMP. Well three of them at least.” She explained. “They are here so that those gods can patronize and protect my home, each one of them represents something. You know you dad looks awfully like one of them.” She trailed off eyeing Phil. Tommy wished he could have heard more but Phil dragged him out of that place quicker than the Schlatt plushies went out of stock. He seemed kind of nervous once Niki started mentioning the statues. 

“Ok Tommy all we need is some ores and materials then we’ll be set to leave.” Spoke Phil. The two walked up to a market stand in order to get the last materials they needed. Behind the stand stood an older looking women One who looked eerily similar but Tommy couldn't put a finger on why he recognized her .

"Hello could I just get a stack of iron, a stack of coal, some wood and some stone please." Phil requested from her.

“Sure honey let me go get everything quickly.” She replied. Suddenly it hit Tommy. 

“Shit.” He thought. “That's the women from earlier.” 

“Phil, Phil, Phil!” Frantically whispered Tommy, while tugging on Phil’s sleeve trying to get his attention. 

“Oh my gods Tommy what is it.” Phil snapped, quickly getting annoyed with the tugging on his robe sleeve. Before Tommy could respond, the math teacher looking women came back with Phil’s stuff. Tommy quickly hid behind Phil, not wanting to be seen. Someone up there (probably dream) had something against him as Phil ended up dropping his coins as he was about to pay. And when he went down to scope them up it gave the women and clear view of Tommy and her eyes widened.

"THIEF, THIEF, THAT’S THE THIEF THAT STOLE MY BAG!!” She hollered while pointing at Tommy getting everyone’s attention. 

“Uhh Phil, I think it is time we go.” Tommy called out behind him as the duo started rushing into the forest before anyone could stop them. Once the two were deep enough into the forest they stopped running, as the adrenaline ran off. Phil turned to Tommy with a wild look in his eyes.

"What was that about!! Why was she screaming thief at you!?! He demanded.

“

Look it’s not my fault I’m a poor orphan boy with no money. This isn’t Anne Phil.” Tommy defended. 

“Look we will talk about this later.” Phil sighed. Too tired to deal with it right now. 

_______________________

When the duo finally made it inside they found the house in a complete and utter wreck. Stuff was smashed all over the floor and there were broken chairs (that looked to be used as weapons.” In the middle of it all was Wilbur in Techno who looked to be in some kind of duel. Wilbur was holding a guitar and there seemed to be some kind of aura coming out of it. While on the other end was Techno holding a fiery red sword. Neither of them seemed to notice Phil and Tommy were home. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!” Boomed Phil, quickly getting the twins attention, they looked at each other with fear in their eyes.

"You see Philza while you and Tommy were taking forever me and Techno decided to spar in order to pass the time." Wilbur eventually stuttered out, he and Techno had a genuine look of fear on their faces. Techno just nodded along to whatever nonsense Wilbur was spewing. Phil let out a long sigh before looking at the two twins.

“As punishment for disobeying my orders you three will sit here and clean EVERYTHING up.” Fumed Phil. 

“You're not my dad.” Techno retorted. But shut up when Philza gave him a glare that could kill. 

"If you two just used for fucken brain we wouldn't be in this mess right now." Tommy shouted at the two angrily while picking trash.

"Look don't blame me it was Techno's idea." Wilbur instantly stated. “He’s the guy who’s all like Yeah fighting blood.”

"Oh yeah just go and blame me and not the guy who suggested using powers. Besides you thrive on chaos.” Techno huffed while he continued cleaning. Wilbur slowly walked over to Tommy before whispering in his ear.

"At least my parents didn't name me Technobalde.” He whispered, causing Tommy to chuckle. 

“At least I don’t look like a anime protagonist.” Replied Tommy. Causing the two to burst out laughing. Apparently the two forgot Techno was standing not even 4 feet away from them.

“At least I don’t look like a Where’s Waldo reject.” smirked Techno. Instantly Tommy and Techno were gasping for air and Tommy even ended up on the floor at one point from laughing so hard. 

"God you are more annoying than Grammarly commercials." 

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all. 


	6. Chapter 4 Limbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the nice comments and kudos!! I love reading them and the comments really help me feel motivated.<3 Also this chapter wasn't gonna come this fast or be this long, but i had this idea stuck in my head for ages.

It had been about a week since Phil, Techno, Wilbur and Tommy were stuck together, and in all honesty things had been going pretty well. The four of them had cleaned up Tommy’s house and made it more liveable, they made some beds and bed sheets, fixed the broken windows and floorboards. They also got some animals to keep by the house and Techno even started a potato farm ect. Over the week the four of them had settled into a nice routine. In the morning Phil would wake up and make everyone breakfast (let's not talk about when Techno,Tommy and Wilbur tried cooking) then Techno and Wilbur would spar and Tommy would watch and try to join while Phil got stuff from the village, than the four of them would do chores around the farm, and then they would all eat dinner together. 

Today was like any ordinary day, Wilbur and Techno were sparing out in a wheat field they found by the house while Phil went out to get some more supplies. Wilbur and Techno couldn’t be trusted, and Tommy obviously couldn’t go. The day before Tommy and Wilbur had some argument about a “vlog gun” and Wilbur had taken it from Tommy and hid it. Tommy had spent the whole day looking for it and today he had finally found it. 

“Ha Ha Wilbur you bitch I found it!” Tommy rejoiced, while running towards Wilbur and Techno. The two were in the middle of an intense duel, both were evenly matched. Though Techno was getting the upper-hand. Techno was holding a red sword and was striking it at Wilbur who was dodging the attacks and playing his guitar forcing Techno back. The yelling from Tommy caused Wilbur to lose his concentration and look at Tommy. With Wilbur not paying attention Techno was finally able to land a strike, plunging the sword into his gut . Wilbur doubled over in pain letting go of his guitar, though it was still slung around his back. Suddenly his eyes went wide. 

“Shit.” He cursed as he finally made eye contact with Tommy who was still standing there in shock. Wilbur just stood there for a moment before he disintegrated letting his guitar fall to the ground with a thud. 

“You fucken killed him you prick!” Tommy cried, before he ran up to Techno and began pounding on his chest. “You killed him, you fucken killed him!” He cried over and over again, tears spilling out of his eyes. Though he didn’t admit it he had gotten close to the three gods over the week. Tommy had never had a parental figure, or even anyone to look up to in his life. And he was often alone in his cabin so he had quickly gotten attached to the three.

“Tommy, Tommy relax he isn’t dead!” reassured Techno but Tommy didn’t stop. “Stop hitting me you gremlin!” He yelled trying to push Tommy off of him. 

“No I don’t believe you. I just watched him get all dusty and shit in front of my fucken eyes, like avengers infinity war!.” Tommy accused. 

“What in Dream’s name is going on here!” Phil demanded. He had gotten back from the store and when he saw all the commotion going on he dropped the things and ran over to see what was happening. 

“Techno just fucken stabbed Wilbur and now he is dead!” Exclaimed Tommy while tears ran down his face and fell onto the ground. Phil looked at Tommy than at the ground were the guitar lad then sent a look towards Techno. Finally Phil knelt down to look Tommy in the eyes and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry mate Wilburs ok. He’s just at spawn point recharging his energy to feel better.” Phil explained while trying to comfort the very distressed child. 

B-but I saw him get stabbed?” Tommy asked, confused. 

“Well you see Wilbur, me and Techno are god's right?” Phil explained waiting for Tommy to process the information. Once he got a nod in response he continued. “We are immortal so we can’t die, but when we are seriously injured we go back to spawn in order to get better and recharge our energy.” Tommy nodded along at the information but was still distressed and kinda traumatized at just watching his brotherly figure “die” in front of him. 

“If you see Wilbur would that make you feel better?” Phil offered. As the god of death and life he was the only person who was able to go visit spawn without getting sent there to recharge and getting stuck in the limbo. Of course he could also bring some people with him if he really tried. Though he didn’t do that often. 

“Yeah.” Tommy answered while whipping away his tears. He was a big man, and big men didn’t cry. Phil sent Techno a “We will talk about this later.” look before grabbing Tommys hand and bringing them to spawn point. 

Suddenly Phil and Tommy were now standing side by side in pocket off space surrounded by stars and planets, in the middle of it all was a floating asleep Wilbur wrapped in loose yellow robes and a laurel wreath atop his head. You could see a half healed knife wound in the middle of his abdomen, and it continued to be healing, slowly. When Tommy looked back at Phil he realized that he had black wings coming out of his back, though Phil paid no mind to it. "I guess its normal to him at this point. Especially with Wilbur and Techno." Thought Tommy

“See looking Wilburs completely fine, and by the end of the day he should be back.” Phil remarked while observing Wilbur. “Ready to go back?.” He asked, finally looking over at Tommy. 

“Yeah, I think I’m ready to go back now. This place is weird as hell." Tommy answered. With that Tommy grabbed Phils hand and they were back in the middle of the field with Techno, and it appeared no time had passed at all. 

The rest of the day went by pretty slowly without Wilbur. Phil had moved his guitar inside, as to not harm it while Techno and Tommy did the rest of the chores around the house. Eventually around sunset while Tommy was putting away some things and Techno and Phil were reading Tommy finally noticed a weird mist coming out of Wilbur’s guitar. 

“Uhh hey guys what's going on?” He questioned getting the attention of the two other gods. The mist wrapped around the guitar a little bit until it began to form a silhouette of a man holding the guitar. With a poof Wilbur was suddenly standing there again guitar in hand with no blood or cuts in sit. He looked the same as he did before he got stabbed, though he had a dazed look in his eyes. 

“Ohh it’s good to be back.” He groaned while stretching out his arms and legs before he finally looked around. 

“Wilbur!” Tommy cheered before launching full force at Wilbur almost knocking him over in the process. 

“Oh hey bud.” Wilbur laughed while recoiling from the hug. 

“Hey there again!” 

“Ello!” 

After Wilbur took a quick nap as he was still a little drained from the incident. After that the group ate dinner and now we're currently trying to convince Tommy to go to bed. 

“Tommy go to bed now you're a growing boy you need sleep!” Phil hissed. 

“No I’m a big man, I don't need any sleep!” He retorted while running past Phil. 

“Don’t make me go get fucken George.” Techno warned 

“Now I realize why Dream called this punishment.” Wilbur cried while running his hand thru his hair.

"It's more then punishment it's hell." Shouted Techno while chasing Tommy down with a axe. He called it the orphan obliterator. 

“What if I told you a bedtime story?” Phil finally offered, he was running out of ideas and he really did not want to go get George, because then Dream would come. 

“Ok deal.” Tommy agreed. He knew he was a little old for bedtime stories but when he was little he always heard kids in the village talking about them. He had always been a little jealous. So he definitely wouldn’t turn it down now. He ran upstairs, got some pajamas on, brushed his teeth and ran into bed Phil following behind. He pulled out a stool to sit on (because he was old and his bones couldn’t handle standing.)

"Uhh how do I do this." Thought Phil in his old man brain. "Just make it sound like a wattpad story, 12 year olds like wattpad." 

_"Once upon a time there were two twin brothers”_

_“They were as different as could be but they were attached at the hip.”_

_“One of the brothers was a great leader and musician, while the other was a fear warrior who was feared across the land.”_

_“One day the musician started a revolution against the gods in order to create his own separate country known as l’manburg.”_

_“The warrior stuck by his brother's side and eventually helped him win the war with his fierce skills in battle.”_

_“After the war was over the brothers went their separate ways. The warrior chose to continue traveling and making a name for himself while the musician stayed back to run his nation.”_

_“The musician was about to become president of the nation before he was stopped by a man and challenged to a democratic election.”_

_“The musician agreed as he thought we would easily win.”_

_“But he didn’t and the musician lost and was banished from his own nation that he build with his blood, sweat and tears.”_

_“All alone and banished the musician collapsed into madness and insanity, he began becoming more reckless and brash.”_

_“Eventually he created a plan to rig his country with tnt, blowing it to the sky.”_

_“Once the warrior found out what his brothers own country did he was furious and out for blood.”_

_“The warrior helped his brother rig his own country and together they destroyed it.”_

_“The warrior spawned wither while the musician pushed a button activating the tnt.”_

_“Though the musician died as a result from being too close to the explosion, whether that was his plan or not.”_

_“The gods had all been observing this closely as they had been interested in this little nation that wagged war and won against the gods.”_

_“The musician and warrior were given a second chance by the god.”_

_“They gifted the twins godhood and immortality bringing them together once again to walk together and bring havoc among humanity.”_

Phil looked over to see Tommy sound asleep in his bed. Past out from everything that went on in the day.

“Goodnight Tommy.” He whispered before getting out and leaving, closing the door behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop lore and Techno + Wilbur backstory, also no other dsmp members are apart of the story, the only people who are, are Techno and Wilbur. So no Schlatt running against Wilbur ect. 
> 
> I was thinking of make a story for just one shots in this universe that don't make it into the main plot, such as more backstories, god shenanigans and sbi stuff such as the cooking incident. 
> 
> Bee boy will be coming next chapter ;]


	7. Chapter 5 The Gremlins and The Bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I promise their is plot somewhere, we just need to get through and the introductions and random stuff. 
> 
> Also thank you all so much for the nice comments and kudos. I love reading them and they help me stay motivated. <3

The morning was going as normal as it could be for three gods and a human. Wilbur was trying to figure out the cords for a new song while Techno was reading about the art of war or something. Phil was cooking breakfast while Tommy was playing around with a wooden sword. Everything was going great. Well that was until it wasn’t. 

Phil had finished cooking some eggs and everyone was getting ready to sit down and eat. (gods didn’t have to eat, but they could if they wanted) When suddenly there was a knock at the door causing the group to whip around and look at the door. Tommy not thinking immediately jumped up to go answer it. When he finally opened the door though he was met with a kid around his age. 

“Hello there!” The young boy beamed. Tommy was able to get a closer look at the boy and he quickly realized that there were weird things coming out of his head and he seemed to have vines wrapped around his arms and legs, and they climbed up to his cheeks. 

“Wait how old are you!” Tommy exclaimed immediately, having no filter whatsoever. While usually he would be quite defensive, he had gotten used to weirdness over the past week, and as a bonus this kid looked his age. 

“Uhh I’m around 479.” Tubbo replied confused why this random kid was answering the door and asking him questions. 

“Fuck I’m still the youngest.” Tommy cried. He would forever be bullied for being a child. 

“Tubbo?!” Phil interrupted, while staring at the boy in front of him. “Huh Tubbo, that’s a weird name.” Tommy thought. 

“Hi Philza, Wilbur and Techno!” Tubbo added. Tommy moved out of the way in order to let Tubbo into the house.

“Tubbo, what are you doing here?” Asked Wilbur while he started down at him. “Don’t tell me Dream roped you into this too. At this rate the blob would be having a 100 hunter manhunt. 

“Nah I’m too cool for that.” Replied Tubbo happily. “Everyone up there is just shit, so I decided to come visit.” 

“George and Dream got into a fight again didn’t they.” Techno deadpanned. It's always hell whenever Dream and George or Skeppy and Bad get into a fight. The two get on each other's nerves easily. (I swear to god there is no shipping, turn off the fucken heatwaves you sick fucks.) 

“Possibly.” Tubbo sighed. When he had entered the house a couple stupid bees had followed him in. Much to the dismay of Tommy.

“Ugh your bringing all these fucken bugs into the house.” Tommy cursed while trying to swat away the bugs. Causing Tubbo to start giggling. 

“Don’t tell me you are one of those weak ass people who are allergic to bee!'' Laughed Tubbo as one of the bee’s landed on his cheek.

“Or one of those weirdos with asthma!” Added Techno with a smirk. While ignoring the obvious glare that Wilbur was sending him. Tommy seemed to catch the glare and immediately burst out laughing. 

“Oh my gods Wilbur you are a literal god and you have asthma you weakling!” Hollarded Tommy who has doubled over from laughing. 

“Natural selection!” Yelled Techno before he started chasing Wilbur with an axe causing him to let out an inhuman screech and run out the door. Techno also seemed to love picking Wilbur day as well. Once the twins had run out the door terrorizing each other Phil had turned to Tubbo and Tommy. 

“Would you guys help me clean up from breakfast?” Asked Phil while he took away some plates from the table.” After all he was an old man and needed some help.

“Uhhhh you know big man Phil I would love to help. But me and Tubbo have very important things to do.” Tommy sputtered. 

“Yeah Philza, I would love to but we have very important business things to attend to.” Tubbo apologized before Tommy grabbed Tubbo’s sleeve and dragged him outside, away from the scary dad. 

“Alright how about we get introductions over with.” Tommy spoke after rescuing him and Tubbo from chores. “My name is TommyInnit and I am super cool and not a child.” He introduced. 

“Well my name is Tubbo and I’m the god of Nature and Bugs.” Tubbo replied. While the kids sat next to each other under a tree in the woods. Hopefully Phil would be too lazy to come and get them. 

“Wait does that mean you have cool powers and shit!?” Tommy inquired. If this were a cartoon his eyes would have had sparkles and stars in them. “Like Wil has his nerd music and being insane and Techno has his bloodlust shit but do you have cool ones!” 

“I mean I guess, I can talk to bugs and control nature.” Tubbo replied. He often didn’t talk about his powers as he was often made fun of for them and for being the youngest, well I guess he wasn’t anymore. (*boys will be bugs intensifies*) 

“Oh my gods seriously can you show me!!!” Tommy asked. Being a boring loser human he was always curious about the god stuff the Techno, Wilbur and Phil did, they never wanted to show him though. But now was a person who might be willing to tell him about it. 

“Uhh sure.” Agreed Tubbo. With the flick of his hand Tubbo grew two small roses on the barren forest floor, one was red and one was white. One of the bees on Tubbo’s head landed on the white flower while Tommy leaned over the red flower studying it closely. 

“Pog.” Tommy muttered while staring at the flower intensely like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. After the two talked about various things that came to their mind for hours and hours. From swords and flowers, to people and grown ups. 

Maybe just maybe Tommy and Tubbo had finally found a friend to call their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this chapter was so short and boring I just had to get bee boy introduced for next chapter when Tubbo and Tommy will get into some fun trouble with the others.


	8. Chapter 6 Bring Your Gremlin To Work Day pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the nice comments, they really help motivate me and I love reading them!!.

Tubbo and Tommy were so engaged in talking to each other about various things that neither of them had realized how much time passed until Tommy’s stomach rumbled, and they looked up and realized the sun was high in the sky, signaling that it was noon. 

“Alight I’m getting hungry, do you wanna go back to the cabin? Besides I’m sure Phil doesn’t need use anymore.” Tommy admitted as he started pushing himself off the ground to get up and head back to the house. 

“Yeah I guess I could go for some food too.” Agreed Tubbo as they made their way to the house. Once they got back the two quickly realized something was off. Usually Phil would be tending to the garden or reading a book while Techno and Wilbur were off doing Karl knows what. But the scene in front of them was very different. Instead all three gods were seated at the table visibly annoyed. Wilbur looked ready to blow up a country, Phil looked like he wanted to craft a belt and Techno looked ready to go murder some orphans. As soon as Tubbo and Tommy walked in the three stopped their discussion and looked up. 

“Uhhh whats going on guys, you look ready to shank someone with a pair of scissors.” Tommy chuckled nervously while looking around at the three gods. 

“Uhh Tommy there is something we need you to tell you, and Tubbo you involved too.” Phil signed, It wasn’t a sigh of worry, just a very annoyed sigh. Like the one your mom does when your new dad doesn’t come back from getting milk again. Tubbo and Tommy eyed each other nervously as Phil continued. 

“So with the war going on and things getting worse everyone had been getting overworked maintaining things and Dream has issued a mandatory meeting for all the gods.” He explained. The overworld had been having a great war between factions for a while now, something about a tyrant. Tommy had known a little bit about the effect the war was having on the three gods. There would be times where someone would have to leave for a little to go deal with something. Some days the gods wouldn’t be able to get up because of the voices. (Gods can hear the voices of their subscribers praying to them. They often call it “chat”) 

“Ugh again. Please don’t tell me they will accidentally have it in the Four Seasons Landscaping parking lot again.” Tubbo groaned. Whenever all the gods got together it was often a complete mess, with fights and pranks breaking out. 

“OOOooh can I come!” Tommy exclaimed. He always wanted to know what it was like being a god and what they did. Phil, Techno, and Wilbur didn’t talk about it much though. 

“No Tommy, no arseholes allowed, we are gonna have to leave you home alone are you ok with that.” Phil replied, it was already bad enough they had to go to the meeting, but now he had to leave Tommy home alone which was a whole other can of worms he didn’t want to think about. 

“Come on Phiza, Philza the Minecraft. It would be like a bring your child to work day.” Tommy debated trying to convince Phil to let him go. 

“No Tommy you can’t come!” Techno huffed as he grabbed his sword. Suddenly there was a beam of light that seemed to wrap around him before he disappeared. Followed by Wilbur grabbing his guitar and Philza grabbing his hat before disappearing as well, leaving only Tubbo and Tommy. 

“Tubbo pleaseeee buddy can I come!” Tommy begged while doing puppy dog eyes. He would seriously do anything to go, Tommy didn’t want to just sit around doing nothing in the forest. 

“I mean sure why not, it would make things more interesting.” Shrugged Tubbo. Causing Tommy to rejoice in success. “But you can’t be seen.” Tubbo warned. “Mortals aren't allowed up there, if you are found who knows what the other will do.”

“Ok ok.” Tommy brushed off. Tubbo grabbed his hand while the two were wrapped by a light and suddenly the scenery began to change and shift. 

_______________________

“WHAT THE F- !” Tommy shouted but was stopped as Tubbo grabbed his Shoulders and covered his mouth with his hand. Tommy looked down and quickly realized they were standing on clouds, much to his confusion. It seemed they were inside a conference room with no roof, outside the open door you could hear a group of people making their way inside and you could see the glow of portals. 

“Quick hide behind that conveniently placed lamp.” Tubbo suggested as everyone started making their way in. Tommy ran behind the plant just as a group of three people walked in. The first person had a dumb white cloth wrapped around his eyes and was dressed like a casino dealer. 

“How the hell can he see.” Tommy wondered. The second person was wearing dumb clout glasses, and some dumb cloak. Even with the glasses the guy looked half asleep. The third guy walked in and was wearing a stupid white head band and a shirt with a flame on it. Basically the definition of Spencers skater boy. 

“Oh Tubbo you're here early.” The one dressed like a casino dealer remarked. 

“Yeah Dream I just thought it would be a good idea to be a little early for once.” Tubbo replied. Seriously what was with these peoples parents and picking names. A couple more people walked in soon after including, a miss matched guy, a furry, Wilbur with a drunk dude and a high dude, a demon with some diamond dude, then finally Techno and Phil walked in and sat down.

“Hello everyone welcome to the meeting, today we will be talking about the mortals and war that they have been having.” Phil spoke. “Would anyone like to explain how the war has been affecting them, or what they think we should do next.” 

“Yeah I think-” Dream began before stopping to yell at Schlatt. “ Philza Minecraft! Schlatt are you black out drunk this is an important meeting!” Fumed Dream, Schlatt was face down on the table still holding a beer.”

“Calm down your little boyfriend is currently fast asleep as well, just because you have 18 million subs doesn’t mean you can do what you want.” Quackity retorted standing up as well. 

“Well at least we are in charge of something actually useful, no one needs Drugs, Alcohol or insanity in the world.” Sapnap hissed back while also standing up to face Quackity.

“Hey I did shit why am I getting pulled into this!” Wilbur yelled while looking over at The Dream Team.

“It’s your fault we are in this mess in the first place. We are here right now because the stupid king went insane and started a war. Which is your specialty.” 

“Well It’s your fault the king was lucky and skilled enough to win the first battle.” While Quackity, Wilbur, Dream and Sapnap were all busy fighting Skeppy started trying to pull a prank on Bad. At the same time Fundy and Eret started coming up with a plan to sneak past everyone and get the hell out of there. 

“Skeppy what the muffin!” Bad yelled, whipping his head around the face Skeppy who was holding a water bucket. “Why do you always do this, especially during meetings!” Soon Bad was up and out of his seat chasing Skeppy around the room. Fundy and Eret were still trying to sneak out and Tubbo was just playing with some bees trying to pretend he wasn't in literal hell.

“Gods this is like a fucken daycare.” Groaned Techno putting his head in his hands. Phil had enough of this bullshit and stood up slamming his hand on the table getting everyone's attention immediately.

“You are all actly like literal fucken children! We are all here for important business, so until you all make up and act your age, we need to get this meeting over with. Until then you will not be going back to your realms.” Philza boomed. Of course being old immortal gods they decided to throw a Caillou level tantrum. Everyone left to walk around the Ather and blow off some steam leaving only Tubbo and Tommy in the room. Tubbo was pissed off. The others were such assholes and they always fight during meetings, Tubbo couldn’t take it anymore. He turned to go look at Tommy. 

“Wanna go wreck some havoc.” 

“Fuck yeah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BREAKING NEWS- BEE BOY AND A GREMLIN GO FERAL ON GOD HIMSELF


	9. Chapter 7 Bring Your Gremlin To Work Day pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, it was really really long.
> 
> Also thank you so much for the kudos and nice comments, I love reading them and they help keep me motivated <33

Tubbo had enough of sitting around and having to deal with the others while they acted like literal children. Tubbo turned to Tommy. 

“Wanna go wreck some havoc.” Tubbo suggested with a smirk.

“Fuck yeah!” Tommy agreed. 

“Alright here's the plan.” Tommy states while grabbing some note paper and a pencil from the table. After 10 minutes Tommy and Tubbo had finally come up with a plan. Well it was more like a bucket list but you get the idea. 

**How To fuck With Gods Themselves**

By Tubbo and TOMMYINNIT

1 Summon a baby zombie

2 Call Technoblade an orphan

3 Fuck with Dream

4 Replace Wilbur’s guitar with a bass- (it's called jared) 

5 Give bbh burnt muffins

“What do you wanna do first?” Tommy asked once the two of them finished writing the list. He didn’t understand how they were gonna get a baby zombie up her without getting eaten alive or why it was so important. But he trusted Tubbo and he probably had a plan anyway.

“We could do the baby zombie first because it’s gonna be so funny to watch Phil run around like a headless chicken. He is terrified of them.” Tubbo replied, Tommy gave him a funny look. 

“Why would Phil be so scared of a baby zombie, I mean he is like the god of gods?” Tommy questioned. 

“Well years back Philza got rather bored up here, so he created a separate world call ed Hardcore where he tried to see how long he could survive without “dying.” If he died he could never come back to the world. He survived five years before he was slain by a baby zombie of all things.” Tubbo explained while chuckling a little bit at the past misfortune. 

“That's not Pogchamp.” Tommy commented. “But anyway how are we gonna get a baby zombie here?” 

“Well that's very simple, all we need is to get a lead a baby zombie and that's it. After we get it on a lead i will teleport back here quickly, let it loose then I will come back and get you. Tubbo responded before grabbing Tubbo's hand and bringing them both back to the overworld. 

“I think I have a lead somewhere in the house.” Tommy remarked before running inside to go get the lead. By the time Tommy had gotten the lead and come back out Tubbo had found a baby zombie. Though neither of them had provoked it yet. 

“How are we gonna get the lead on it? I do not feel like becoming a Fred Weasly kinnie right now.” Questioned Tommy while looking over at the baby zombie. Currently it was running in circles and it was fast, annoyingly so. 

“I’ll wrap a vine around it’s ankle keeping it in place, then we get it on a lead.” Suggested Tubbo. 

“Ok sounds good.” Agreed Tommy. With the flick of Tubbo's wrist a vine suddenly wrapped around the zombies leg keeping it in place. 

“Wow your powers are more broken than the warden.” Whispered Tommy. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.” With the zombie not on the loose Tommy quickly got it on the lead and promptly handed it to Tubbo. He disappeared with the baby zombie before reappearing a second later without it, before grabbing Tommy and bringing him back to the Ather. Once Tommy and Tubbo got back they were greeted by lots or intangible yelling until they heard an inhuman shriek followed by multiple crashing noises. 

“HELP ITS A MINI FUCKING DEMON!!!!!” Shrieked Phil followed by him running round the Ather while everyone else just looked on humorously, well except an annoyed Techno who was tired of dealing with Phil's phobias. 

“Oh my gods Phil, you're a fucken god and you have wings just fly away.” Ranted Techno while he watched Phil run around like a headless chicken. Eventually Phil figured it out and flew off the main island to one of the smaller ones causing the baby zombie to fall into the void. Away from everyone else Tubbo and Tommy were on the floor cackling about the scene that had just unfolded in front of them. 

“That was the funniest thing I have ever seen!” Laughed Tommy while clutching his stomach. 

“Oh my gods did you see his face!” Chimed Tubbo. Once the two got over their laughing fit they pulled out the notebook again.

**How To fuck With Gods Themselves**

By Tubbo and TOMMYINNIT

~~ 1 Summon a baby zombie ~~

2 Call Technoblade an orphan

3 Fuck with Dream

4 Replace Wilbur’s guitar with a bass- (it's called jared)

5 Give bbh burnt muffins

___________________

“One down four to go.” Smirked Tubbo. Next up was Techno, but they needed to figure out how to say it to him, well without directly saying it to him, because if they did they would likely die. 

“How about we bribe Wilbur to help us for this one.” Suggested Tommy. “I mean he has his mind control and shit can’t he just make someone say it. Besides I know the fucker  _ loves _ sand.” So after making a quick pit stop at the overworld Tubbo went up to Wilbur who was currently practicing some music on one of the islands. (Tommy obviously stayed behind because no one couldn’t know he was there.) 

“Oh hey Tubbo.” Greeted Wilbur stopping his music playing for a second.

“Hello Wilbur Soot, I would like to propose something to you.” Stated Tubbo slyly while turning to face Wilbur.

“What's the deal?” Questioned Wilbur. 

“If I gave you all the sand you could eat, would you mind controlling Dream to call Technoblade an orphan.” Explained Tubbo. 

“Alright deal.” After giving Wilbur 11 stacks of sand he went off to go find Dream, and after some guitar playing and god powers he was ready. Tubbo and Tommy hid out of sight to watch the chaos unfold. 

“What do you want?” Techno asked rudely when he saw Dream walk up to him and Phil in a trance like state.” 

“Technoblade, you're an orphan.” Dream remarked while looking directly at Techno. If you looked closely enough you could see Techno’s eye twitch. 

“I m a w h a t !” Techno exclaimed while drawing out the words. 

“You're an orphan.” Dream repeated blankly. If you listened close enough you could hear the strumming of a guitar. Techno just stood there his brain buffering, didn’t blink, didn’t move he just stood there. 

“Uhhh you good there mate?” Phil asked, tapping Techno on the shoulder. Eventually Techno finally came back to reality and sent dream a death glare. With zero words exchanged Techno immediately pulled out his sword and through it at Dream. The sword of course went right past his head. Seeing the violence escalating Wilbur let go of his influence. 

“Why did you just throw a sword at my head!!” Demanded Dream after coming back to his sense from the mind control.

“You called me an orphan, a fucken puny orphan you deserve it!” Yelled Techno stalking up to Dream leaving only a foot between the two gods. 

“Bullshit I did not!” 

“BLOB!”

“PIG!” The two gods were now arguing, throwing petty insults at each other while unknown to them Tubbo and Tommy were having the time of their life. 

“I’m Technoblade, the god of war and the nether, I’m such a pussy I can’t handle being called an orphan.” Mocked Tommy in a deep voice. 

“Oh no you called me an orphan, I’m gonna cry.” Cried Tubbo while doing a bad impression of Technoblade. After they finished their laughing and mocking Tubbo pulled out the notebook. 

**How To fuck With Gods Themselves**

By Tubbo and TOMMYINNIT

~~ 1 Summon a baby zombie ~~

~~ 2 Call Technoblade an orphan ~~

~~ 3 Fuck with Dream ~~

4 Replace Wilbur’s guitar with a bass- (it's called jared)

5 Give bbh burnt muffins

___________________

“Three down two to go.” The next thing they had to do was find a bass and replace it with Wilbur’s guitar. 

“Where the hell are we gonna get a bass??!!” Asked Tommy. They didn’t have enough money to buy one and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna go steal in town anytime soon. 

“Oh I’ll go to my room and get one quick.” Tubbo remarked as he turned to go outside. 

“Your room??” Questioned Tommy. There was so much god shit to remember and he had no idea how it worked. “This is starting to get more complicated than the fnaf lore.” He muttered. 

“Well you see each god has a room outside of time that is theirs and theirs only. Only they can go in or invite people inside. Inside their room they can create anything they want.” Explained Tubbo. Honestly he was starting to get a little annoyed explaining everything to Tommy, but it really wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Wilburs face- . You see Aether was a realm that no mortal could build a portal to and access. When you first got there you spawned on the main island which was a giant  cloud, on the cloud was a big stone court house which is where the meetings were held. Outside the courthouse were a bunch of portals in a big circle, each portal would lead to the gods designated room. If anyone tried to go into someone else's room it wouldn’t let them in unless the god wanted them to be there. Around the cloud were a number of smaller floating islands.

When Tubbo made sure no one was looking he and Tommy ran into his portal, which was made up of yellow and green swirls. When they stepped into they seemed to be in an infinite field with one lone tree in the middle, there were bees flying all around the field. 

“Wow this is beautiful!” Marveled Tommy looking around. When Tommy looked over at Tubbo he seemed to have his eyes closed and looked like he was concentrating real hard. Suddenly with a pop a blue bass was in his hands. 

“Ok it’s done.” Signed Tubbo as he examined the bass to see if it was perfect. “It doesn’t have Jared on it though.” Huffed Tubbo. He did not want to make another one.

“Oh I got it.” Chimed Tommy as he ran over to Tubbo with a pocket knife. Tubbo held the bass as Tommy craved the name Jared into it with fancy handwriting. 

“Perfect!” 

___________________________

Finally the two found Wilbur with his guitar, now all they had to do was get him away from it. 

“Hey Wilbur, I just want to let you know I heard Eret talking about how much he loves anteaters.” Tubbo spoke slyly. Of course Wilbur immediately jumped up forgetting his guitar in the rage. 

“That fucking bastard talking about anteaters!” Wilbur shrieked as he went off to go find (and possibly murder) Eret. Once Wilbur was out of site Tubbo replaced Wilburs guitar with Jared the bass and brought Wilbur’s guitar into Erets Room. (Part of him felt bad for doing that as Eret had trusted him enough to let him in her room but Tubbo was just so sick of everything after centuries.) Now all Tommy and Tubbo hac to do was wait for Wilbur to get back. 

“So why does Wilbur hate anteaters so much?” Asked Tommy while waiting for Wilbur to get back. 

“No one really knows, he just has a burning passion for them, he wont stop going on about them.” Answered Tubbo. “Wilburs a weird man.” 

“Maybe he is secretly an anteater, I mean he’s got the face.” Joked Tommy off handedly causing Tubbo to burst out laughing. Tommy and Tubbo had to quiet down though as they heard Wilbur approaching. Quickly they hid in the shadows of the courthouse to observe how Wilbur would act. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!!” Shouted Wilbur. After knocking some sense, (and his fist) into Eret he came back only to find his precise guitar replaced with a bass. 

“WHERE THE FUCK IS VIENNA I JUST HAD HER HERE A SECOND AGO!” Wilbur fumed looking around rapidly for his guitar. While he was looking around for his guitar he noticed Eret and immediately stalked up to them. 

“Ugh what now Wilbur, I’m not ready for another talk about antlers.” Sighed Eret. The poor person just wanted to be left alone but he had to deal with the JD kinnie again. 

“You took my guitar didn’t you, and replaced it with this monstrosity.” Hissed Wilbur while pointing to the bass in his hand. “Where is it!! Where is Vienna.” He cried. Even with the sun glasses you could tell Eret had a resting bitch face on. 

“Oh my fucking gods Wilbur I’m so sick of your bullshit, I didn’t even take your gutair, and i didn’t talk about Anteaters I have no idea what your talking about.” She grumbled while fixing the crown atop his head. 

“I swear I’ll strap you to a fucking chair and peel off your skin with a vegetable peeler then pour hand sanitizer on you if I find out you took my guitar.” Sneered Wilbur in an insane voice with a smile just a little two big for his face, and eyes just a little too wide.

“Is that a threat?” Questioned Eret while pulling Ted’s Wrath out of his pocket. 

“Maybe it is.” Responded Wilbur getting into a battle stance. He may not have his guitar, but he still had his voice. Tubbo and Tommy thought it was a good time to go now as they didn’t want to face the wrath or Wilbur or Eret if they were discovered. Once the two got back to safety Tubbo pulled out his notebook. 

How To fuck With Gods Themselves 

By Tubbo and TOMMYINNIT

~~1 Summon a baby zombie~~

~~2 Call Technoblade an orphan~~

~~3 Fuck with Dream~~

~~4 Replace Wilbur’s guitar with a bass- (it's called jared)~~

5 Give bbh burnt muffins

  
___________________

“For down one to go.” The last thing they had to do was give bad some burnt muffins, which should be the easiest thing off all. Of course they still had to get their kicks on what just happened. 

“Oh my gods did you see his face!” Hollered Tommy. “He looked like he was about to combust into flames, like that lady in Florida.” Causing Tubbo to start hysterically laughing. 

“When Erets face got all red and scrunched up he kinda looked like callmecancled.” Added Tubbo now causing Tommy to start doubling over with laughter. One the two were done making fun of Wilbur and Eret it was time to start making the muffins. 

“This one should be pretty easy since we both suck at baking.” Spoke Tommy while looking over at Tubbo. “Well as long as we don’t burn the house down.” 

“I’ll go get some Betty Crocker (please sponsor me) muffin mix from my room.” Tubbo said quickly before disappearing for a second before reappearing with the muffin mix in his hands. Then Tubbo grabbed Tommy’s hand to bring them back to the overworld. Once the two got back they immediately ran inside and went to start baking, that was until Tommy got to the tablespoon part. 

“What the fuck is a tablespoon!” Shouted Tommy while looking through the draws for measurements. Eventually he picked out a cup that said 1 tsp put vegetable oil was about to pour it in the bowl before being stopped by Tubbo.

“That's teaspoon not tablespoon. Tubbo corrected before grabbing a measurement that was labeled tbsp and pouring the vegetable oil into the bowl. Other than that everything else was going rather smoothly. Well for a while, Tommy ended up pouring flour all over Tubbo which then Tubbo ended up pouring excess batter on Tommy’s head. The box said two minutes but they ended up putting in the muffins for a half an hour to get them in. Now Tommy and Tubbo were quietly cleaning up the mess while waiting for the muffins to bake.

“You know, it’s been a long time since I have had this much fun, well just fun in general.” Admitted Tubbo. 

“Well I’m glad you were having fun big T.” Responded Tommy as he whipped down the table. It was such a calm atmosphere. The light was streaming in through the windows allowing you to see the dust particles in the air and Tommy was quietly humming. Tubbo paused his cleaning for a second before taking a sniff of the air. 

“Hey it kinda smells like smoke.” Tubbo stated. 

“SHIT THE MUFFINS!!” Tommy cried before running over to the over followed by Tubbo. Once they got the muffins out and cleared out the smoke through the windows they finally got a good look at them. The muffins were pure charcoal black and smelled awful. 

“We better not let Gardon Ramsey see this.” Mumbled Tubbo while touching one of the muffins. Once he put a finger on it, the muffin basically disintegrated. 

“Well time to give these to Bad.” 

____________________________

Once Tubbo and Tommy got back to the Aether they saw Bad and Skeppy arguing before Bad turned around and went back into his room before Skeppy turned away grumbling about how “Bad couldn’t take any jokes.” 

“Perfect.” Whispered Tommy. Once the two gods were out of sight, Tubbo ran over and put the box of burnt muffins in front of Bads portal so he would see it, before running away and hiding by the entrance of the court house. After about ten minutes Bad finally came out of his room viva the portal. 

“What the muffin- ARE THIS BURNT MUFFINS!!!” Shouted Bad when he stepped out of the portal. He picked up one of the muffins and bit it before immetally spitting it out. “SKEPPY YOU LITTLE. THAT'S IT I'M CALLING A MEETING.” Yelled Bad before storming off towards the courthouse. 

“Shit shit shit.” Muttered Tommy while he and Tubbo ran inside the courthouse looking for a place to hide Tommy. Eventually Tubbo found a closet in the conference room. 

“Quick hid in there.” Whisper yelled Tubbo as he opened the door and shoved Tommy in. Once Bad arrived he snapped his fingers making everything else appear in their seats.

“Hey what the fuck.” 

“What Bad.” 

“I was in the middle of something!” 

QUIET YOU MUFFIN HEADS!!!” Bad finally yelled getting everyone's attention. “I noticed a lot of weird stuff and pranks going on lately, and I’m gonna find out who is doing this.” “I think I was Skeppy!” Bad accused. “I mean he is the god of pranks.” 

“It wasn’t me, I know when to not cross the line!” Defended Skeppy. 

“I think it was Technoblade!” Interjected Dream pointing at Techno. “He threw a fucking sword at my head for no reason!” 

“It called me an orphan, I think that's a perfectly good reason!” Replied Techno. 

“No I didn’t!” 

“Yes you did! 

“IT WAS DREAM!” 

“TECHNOBLADE!” 

“SKEPPY!”

“ERET!” 

“WILBUR!” 

Soon the conference room had become a madhouse with everyone shouting and pointing at each-other. 

"Ugh i hate all of you!" Groaned Fundy while covering his ears because of all the noise. Everyone quieted though when a giant thud was heard by the closet grabbing everyone's attention. Suddenly the closest door burst open and out tumbled a very familiar gremlin, who soon noticed a bunch of wide eyes staring at him. 

“Uhhhh hey guys……”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god that took forever to write. Also please let me know if there are any grammar issues 
> 
> Tommy done fucked up


End file.
